Birthdays are supposed to be a sacred and special time when an individual is celebrated in the way they want. However, time, family dynamics, and different situations can often take away the fun and relaxation that is meant to come with the occasion.
Redditor u/ShaysWay1 wants to spend her birthday in the way she would like but feels guilty for asking for her stepchildren to be excluded. She wants to make the most of her special day and create memories that will last a lifetime. Still, she is unsure if her request is reasonable or if it will cause any conflict with her husband or stepchildren.
The Birthday Plans
As OP's birth week approaches, she is faced with a difficult decision. She and her husband share one child together, a toddler, and also have two older stepchildren who are in their mid-teens. The stepchildren live with them half the week, with alternating weekends.
However, due to her husband's work schedule and her own schedule, they rarely get to spend quality time together as a family with just their toddler. OP has desired this for a while but has never gotten the time or opportunity to have.
This year, her husband has taken the day off work for her birthday and has said they can do anything she wants. OP has decided that she would like to take their toddler somewhere focused on their age group and have a day out just the three of them, as it is a rare opportunity to do something like that.
This year, her husband has taken the day off work for her birthday and has said they can do anything she wants. With the chance finally introducing itself, OP has decided that she would like to take their toddler somewhere focused on their age group and have a day out just the three of them. It would be a nice change from the normal and give her time to relax and enjoy her day.
Stepchildren Step in The Way
OP has an excellent relationship with her stepchildren, as she manages to spend quality time with them. However, when they do go out, OP makes sure it's to places with more focus on their age bracket to ensure they are not bored the entire time. They're at the age where they do a lot of complaining and arguing among themselves.
OP is fine with this; it's part of teenage life. But on her birthday, OP wants to go somewhere with her husband and their toddler to focus on the toddler, without worrying about the older kids arguing and being bored.
As they are not meant to be with OP and her husband for the weekend, she thinks it would be a good opportunity for that. However, her husband went ahead and asked her ex if the step-children could spend the weekend with them.
OP told him that she would rather not. Still, her refusal became a big deal, with her husband insinuating that she is excluding them and has never liked them.
u/Interesting_Order_82 thinks OP should enjoy her birthday, and she is NTA.
“NTA. It's your birthday. It wasn't their day to be there anyway. Celebrate when they are there for their time and have a cake. Enjoy your birthday with your hubby and toddler.”
However, u/idontdomath8 has a different say on the matter.
“YTA. My method to decide this is quite simple: replace the ‘stepkids' with ‘kids.' So, if you have 3 children and decide to spend your birthday with just one of them, the other ones would be pissed off and YWBTA. This is the same; you are making a difference between ‘YOUR' kids and ‘HIS' kids.”
On her birthday, which falls on a time when the older stepchildren are not supposed to be with them, OP believes it is fair for her to want to stick to her plans and not change the day's focus. Is she wrong for feeling this way?
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This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.