As a society, we often discuss the importance of inclusion and accessibility, yet we still have a long way to go. This is especially true for those who care for individuals with disabilities, who often face significant challenges in everyday life.
Today, we will discuss one such story of a single mother, OP, who is facing a difficult decision regarding her sister's wedding. It highlights the challenges parents of children with disabilities often face and the need for greater understanding and compassion from friends and family.
Here's What Happened
OP is a mother to an eight-year-old daughter, Mia, who has been disabled since birth and requires constant care and assistance. OP is highly protective of Mia and takes great care in ensuring that she has a good quality of life. Being a single mother makes things even more strenuous for her, but she makes it work for her and Mia.
However, the news that Cassidy's wedding would be held entirely on a beach with sand was a significant emotional blow to OP.
Cassidy had called her to discuss the logistics of her wedding, which was only six months away. She mentioned that the wedding would be held on a beach near their city, and it would be entirely in the sand. There would be a 35-person ceremony by the water and a bonfire and barbecue on the beach.
OP was taken aback by this announcement and felt hurt that Cassidy didn't consult with her before reserving the beach location. Mia's disability would make it impossible for her to attend. She had always thought that Cassidy understood the challenges that came with caring for a child with a disability. So, she was surprised that her sister hadn't thought this through.
Waves Come Crashing
Cassidy's defense was that she and her fiancé, Max, had checked to see if the beach had a sand-friendly wheelchair that OP could rent for $110 daily. She was outraged that Cassidy expected her to pay to attend a wedding and to use a wheelchair that may not be adequate for Mia's needs.
When OP suggested that Cassidy pay for the rental, she was met with resistance. Cassidy argued that she and Max were already struggling to cut back on expenses for the wedding. They couldn't afford to cover the rental cost.
She felt this was an excuse, and Cassidy didn't want Mia to attend her wedding.
As a single mom, she had already faced numerous challenges. Still, this experience with her sister had left her feeling even more alone and unsupported. She was hurt that Cassidy was willing to exclude her family member from the wedding simply because of her disability.
At this point, she decided she would not attend the wedding. She felt that she couldn't support someone who didn't understand the challenges of caring for a disabled child and who wasn't willing to accommodate her sister's needs.
But is she overthinking things? It's her sister's wedding, and her sister has her own dreams and expectations of what she wants her day to look like. Having close ties with a person can blind one to the fact that they are not entitled to anything from them.
Now, OP wonders if she screwed up by behaving as she did.
OP Screwed Up
u/Stannenb keeps it straight to the point and thinks OP is TA.
“So Cassidy and Max picked a location for their wedding that has a deep emotional meaning to them and ensured that there were accommodations that would allow Mia to attend. So this dispute is really, ‘My sister won't pay $110 for a wheelchair for Mia to attend.'
Robert_Rufus_Feline gives a concise response explanation to just how deeply rooted things are.
“The fact that OP thought that the bride and groom should run their choice of venue by her first is very telling. No. That's not how it works. Clearly, OP has been catered to for years if she found being left out of the venue selection process to be ‘inconsiderate and cruel' as opposed to normal event planning. No couple needs a guest's approval before booking their wedding venue, especially when the location is one of deep personal significance to them.
The choice of where to host their wedding is something that is solely the decision of the couple. And I am sure if given the chance, OP would have had thoughts on the reception, catering, and other details too.
Guests, of course, can choose not to attend if the wedding venue is not suitable for their needs. That is their call. But given how OP has already tried to center the wedding around her and her daughter, I don't think that's a serious sacrifice for the couple. I am sure OP is worse in person and would spend the entire wedding and reception making things about her/her daughter too.
People say it's Mia the couple was softly looking to exclude, but I don't think so. I think it's OP.”
There you have it. I also think OP is forgetting that the wedding is about her sister, and she's trying to make things about her and her daughter, which is unfair. Her sister should be allowed to have the wedding she desires. After all, it's her day! Don't you think so, too?
This thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Boloere Seibidor, fondly called B.S. is a Nigerian-based writer and poet. Her favorite topics to cover include music, especially Hip-Hop, film, lifestyle, and fashion. She's been published by Feral Journal, Fantasy Magazine, The Temz Review, and most notably, Wealth of Geeks. She enjoys romantic dinners, movie nights, and touring new sites. When she's not writing, she's delving back in time to the underground world of Hip-Hop, watching TikTok, or visiting the cinema.