Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane had spent years living apart and dating other people when she became his caregiver. Their relationship, she said, “doesn’t fit into anyone’s box.” But supporting him through ALS was never a question for her, according to her conversation with Maria Shriver, covered by Entertainment Weekly.
Gayheart, 55, spoke on TODAY November 3 in her first broadcast interview since Dane’s death. She and the actor shared two daughters, Billie, 16, and Georgia, 14, who watched their parents find a way to remain close without resuming their marriage as a couple.
Dane, known for playing Mark Sloan on Grey’s Anatomy, was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis in 2024 and disclosed his condition publicly in April 2025. He died on February 19, 2026, at 53.
Asked whether she considers herself a widow, Gayheart described missing the person who would have understood the significance of their daughter’s recent driver’s license. “I feel solo in a way that is hard,” she told Shriver, as Us Weekly reported.
Gayheart Says Calling Off the Divorce Did Not Mean Getting Back Together
Rebecca Gayheart and the late Eric Dane had been separated for years when he was diagnosed with ALS. Here’s why she wanted to be his end-of-life caretaker. https://t.co/UYHc1SpN5j
— Entertainment Weekly (@EW) November 4, 2026
The couple married in 2004. Gayheart dated their separation to September 2017 in her December 2025 essay for The Cut. She filed for divorce in 2018, but it was never finalized. In March 2025, she requested that the petition be dismissed, with both parties signing off, according to PEOPLE.
On TODAY, Gayheart said she wanted their daughters to have parents who did not hate each other. The legal status of the marriage did not describe how their daily lives worked, or the relationship they had developed after separating.
In a separate interview that aired November 4 on The Drew Barrymore Show, she acknowledged that remaining married might have left the girls hoping for a reconciliation. According to the show’s transcript released by Paramount, Gayheart said she and Dane had made clear that would not happen. She also admitted how difficult it had been to accept the end of the marriage after working so hard to build the family she wanted.
Gayheart and Their Daughters Slept in Dane’s Hospital Room
Gayheart initially expected Dane’s final hospital admission to end like earlier visits, with treatment followed by a return home. Around the third day, she noticed a change in the doctors’ tone and the information they were giving the family, according to TODAY‘s account published by NBC Los Angeles.
Friends who were physicians helped her navigate decisions as she struggled with the demands of his care. Dane’s speech had become difficult, but Gayheart said she, their daughters and his closest friends could usually understand him. He remained aware of what was happening and involved in decisions about his final days.
The girls stayed overnight with their mother in his room. They brought battery-operated candles and played his favorite music, trying to make the hospital feel more comfortable. Gayheart described those nights as family sleepovers.
Gayheart Says Dane Was Very Different From McSteamy
Gayheart remembered Dane as intellectually curious and nerdy, rather than the heartthrob viewers associated with his Grey’s Anatomy character. She said the public image of McSteamy was very different from the person she knew.
His memoir, My Book of Days: A Memoir in Moments, was published November 3 by The Open Field, Shriver’s publishing imprint. According to Penguin Random House, its chapters are organized around individual days and experiences, including his early Hollywood career, sobriety and response to his diagnosis.
Gayheart said the book had answered questions their daughters had about their father. She valued that they could read his account in his own words, rather than rely entirely on other people’s memories. Dane also wrote about future days beyond his lifetime, leaving passages intended for his daughters to read as they grew older.