Patrick Duffy’s sons were getting ready for school when he had to tell them their grandparents had been murdered. Before leaving for Montana, the actor brought Padraic and Conor together for the Buddhist chanting they shared each morning.
The 77-year-old Dallas star recalled the conversation during the November 9 episode of Steve Kmetko’s Still Here Hollywood podcast, explaining how he approached his children while beginning to deal with his own loss.
His parents, Terrence and Marie Duffy, were shot and killed during a robbery at the bar they owned in Boulder, Montana, in 1986.
Duffy learned what had happened from his sister, a police officer who was already on her way to Montana when she called. By the time they finished speaking, television crews were gathering outside his home.
Duffy Recounts What Happened at His Parents’ Bar
Duffy said his father had thrown two young men out of the bar earlier that evening because they were drunk and disruptive. As Entertainment Weekly reported, he recalled that they returned late that night carrying shotguns, when his parents were the only people still inside.
Recounting testimony from the trial, Duffy said his father recognized the men and began confronting them before he was shot. Marie, who had been working on a crossword puzzle at the other end of the bar, rushed toward her husband and was also shot.
The attackers then went behind the bar, took money from the cash register and grabbed bottles of liquor before leaving. Both men were subsequently imprisoned.
He Asked His Sons to Chant for Their Grandparents
“We have to chant for grandma and grandpa because they’ve both been killed,” Duffy recalled telling the boys. He explained that he believed their grandparents would hear and understand their chanting. Remembering his sons’ response, he said, “And they went, ‘Okay.’”
Lorimar, the production company behind Dallas, offered to arrange a private flight to Montana. His colleagues also offered the assistance of a publicist to help manage the media attention surrounding the family.
Contemporary Associated Press reporting described how the production filmed around his absence. Once in Montana, Duffy released a statement thanking fans for their concern and asking them to respect his family’s privacy as they mourned.
Duffy Still Remembers His Parents During Daily Chanting
Duffy had practiced Buddhism for about 15 years when his parents died. He said chanting had become important to him because it made his life feel better, even before he had closely studied the philosophy behind it. After the killings, his beliefs helped him feel that his connection with his parents continued.
As Parade reported, Duffy acknowledged crying while discussing grief with Kmetko. The conversation also turned to his wife, Carlyn Rosser, who died in 2017 after more than four decades of marriage, and the role his faith played in coping with that loss.
Duffy continues to chant twice a day. During each session, he sets aside time for people who have died, including his mother and father.