Allison Janney is getting candid about why marriage and motherhood never became part of her life, including a fertility appointment in her 40s that delivered an unexpected reality check.
The 66-year-old actress said she grew up assuming she would eventually get married because that was simply what adults did. Her relationships took her in a different direction, however, and she ultimately never married or had children.
During a conversation on Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky, Janney also described a period when she considered becoming a mother despite saying she had long known she did not feel a strong desire to have children. One relationship in her mid-30s initially made her consider trying, but she ultimately decided the man she was with was not the person with whom she wanted to raise a family.
The conversation arrived after she earned another Emmy nomination, this time for playing President Grace Penn on Netflix’s The Diplomat.
A Fertility Doctor Told Janney ‘The Odds Are Not in Your Favor’
Janney said she visited a fertility specialist when she was in her 40s because she wanted to find out whether becoming a mother was still an option. “I knew I never wanted to have kids,” she said. “That’s just something that I’ve always known.”
Even so, Janney reached a point where she thought she should at least explore the possibility. “I just thought, well, I better… I should try,” she recalled. What the specialist told her came as a surprise.
“The first I heard that I wouldn’t be able to have a kid at 40-something was in this fertility doctor’s office,” Janney said. “She was like, ‘The odds are not in your favor.'” Janney admitted she had somehow been under the impression that women could continue having children into their 50s.
The appointment produced another revealing moment when the doctor asked why Janney’s partner was not there with her. “The guy that I was with, he didn’t even come with me,” she recalled. “And I was like, ‘I guess that is a sign, isn’t it?'”
Janney Says Being With the Wrong Person Felt ‘Lonely’
Janney also looked back on a four-year relationship during her mid-30s, when she briefly decided that it might be time to try to have children. “And then it was apparent to me that this was not the man I wanted to have kids with,” she said. “So I was like, ‘OK, well, I guess that didn’t happen.'”
Janney described a sense of relief in recognizing that the relationship was not right for her. “The way you feel in a relationship that you know is probably not the one and you’re kind of in it and you don’t know how to get out of it, that’s the most lonely feeling in the world to be with someone and feel alone,” she said.
“Oh my God, that’s awful,” Janney added. “So, it didn’t happen for me.” She said her expectation that she would marry had been shaped partly by the assumptions she grew up with. “I always thought I would get married, just because at the time I was growing up, that’s what you did,” Janney said.
After moving to New York in her 20s to pursue acting, Janney had several long-term relationships but never married. Her romantic history has included a relationship with actor Dennis Gagomiros and an engagement to actor Richard Jenik, which ended in 2006. She later dated production manager Philip Joncas.
She Has Previously Said She Does Not Regret Not Having Children
Janney had already spoken publicly about being unmarried and not having children years before the conversation with Lewinsky. During a 2021 appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show, she said she believed her life might have looked different if she had met the right partner at the right time.
“I think if I’d found the right guy at the right time and wanted to have kids, I probably would have with the right partner,” Janney said at the time. But she was also clear that uncertainty about motherhood made her comfortable with the way things turned out.
“Because I wasn’t ever really confident that I wanted to have kids, and I would rather regret not having kids than have kids and regret it,” she said. Janney also said she was still learning what she wanted from her life and remained open to finding someone without treating marriage as a requirement for happiness. “I’d love to eventually find someone to share my life with,” she said. “But if it doesn’t happen, I think I’ll be just fine.”
Janney Says Her Dogs Are Among the Great Loves of Her Life
In her conversation with Lewinsky, Janney also described the relationships that do give her life a strong sense of connection. Alongside her friends and family, she singled out her dogs as one of her deepest sources of affection. “Animals, especially dogs, are my heart,” Janney said. “I could not love dogs more.”
The Conversation Comes With Another Emmy Nomination
Janney’s personal reflections have resurfaced during another major awards year in her career. The Television Academy nominated her for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series at the 2026 Emmy Awards for her performance as President Grace Penn on Netflix’s The Diplomat.
It is Janney’s 16th career Primetime Emmy nomination. She has already won seven Emmys, including four for playing C.J. Cregg on The West Wing and two for her role as Bonnie Plunkett on Mom.
Her latest nomination places her back in the drama supporting-actress race more than two decades after her earliest Emmy-winning years on The West Wing.