Jay Bakker, 50, has explained why he did not attend his father Jim Bakker’s funeral. The pastor shared a video on Instagram on Oct. 12 that he had recorded for the service being held that day.
Jim, the former PTL Club host, died Oct. 5 at age 86. He had been receiving hospice care in Branson, Missouri, during his final days.
The memorial took place at Morningside USA in Blue Eye, near Branson, following a viewing. It was streamed online, with loved ones discussing the televangelist’s life and the broadcasting ministry he built, WSOC-TV reported.
After the death announcement, Jay had shared a childhood photograph of himself with his father and asked followers to give him time to process the news. He said he was turning off social media notifications and asked people not to tag him in posts about Jim.
Jay Had Already Said Goodbye in Person
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In the recording, Jay described their relationship as complicated and mourning as a difficult, strange experience. He recalled visiting his father several weeks earlier, when they had conversations he valued. “I was able to say goodbye,” he said, explaining his absence, according to PEOPLE.
In his caption, he thanked people who had encouraged others to let the family grieve. He recognized that sympathy might be hard for some people to offer, but said the support he had received meant a great deal. Comments were disabled beneath the post, and he said he would discuss his thoughts further in a future talk.
Jay Challenged People Celebrating His Father’s Death
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Before the funeral, Jay had posted a separate video criticizing people he believed were celebrating Jim’s death. He directed part of his response at liberal Christians and acknowledged that people had genuine objections to his father’s actions.
“When you attack someone after they die, you’re not attacking them,” he said. Jay spoke about loved ones who might be grieving while also dealing with painful or unresolved relationships. He recalled a saying he attributed to his mother, Tammy Faye, comparing hostility within churches to soldiers firing on their wounded comrades.
Jim’s history included Jessica Hahn’s allegation that he sexually assaulted her, while he maintained that their encounter was consensual. The controversy preceded his departure from PTL in 1987, as the Associated Press recounted.
His imprisonment followed a separate federal fraud case involving promises of vacation stays at the ministry’s Heritage USA resort. He was convicted in 1989 and served approximately four and a half years, Reuters reported.
Jay Grew Up With His Family’s Troubles on Television
Jay’s childhood unfolded around his parents’ religious broadcasts, followed by national coverage of their ministry’s collapse. During a 2006 CNN interview, he recalled going to school while his parents’ divorce played out publicly. Other children knew about the family situation, or thought they did, and he felt his mother was blamed while his father was in prison.
In a 2021 Vanity Fair interview, Jay remembered tabloid reporters offering him money for gossip as a child. He said he had felt like a prop when expected to appear on television without a choice.
The release of The Eyes of Tammy Faye, starring Jessica Chastain and Andrew Garfield as his parents, prompted him to consult his therapist. He wanted boundaries around the film’s publicity, but appreciated its humanizing approach. He spoke with both actors and called Garfield after watching to thank him for his portrayal.
Jay Built a Ministry That Welcomed People Churches Rejected
Jay co-founded Revolution Church in Phoenix in 1994 with Kelli Miller and Mike Walls. According to PFLAG’s Straight for Equality program, they wanted to reach people whom churches rejected because of their appearance or lifestyle. Their gatherings included bands, DJs, art exhibits and guest speakers.
By his 2006 appearance with Larry King, Jay was publicly supporting equal rights and marriage for same-sex couples. He explained that meeting in a bar could feel comfortable for people who had been hurt by churches. Taking an affirming position had also cost him speaking engagements and financial support, he said.
Jay also traced his parents’ difficulties to the cost of sustaining their ministry. He told King that raising money had begun to dictate their message, forcing compromises. He still credited them with teaching him to love and accept others.
Tammy Faye’s outreach included a 1985 television interview with Steve Pieters, a gay minister living with AIDS. As the AIDS Monument’s account describes, she welcomed him by satellite onto Tammy’s House Party on the PTL network at a time of widespread stigma.
Jay’s own ministry and family relationships became the subject of the 2006 Sundance Channel documentary series One Punk Under God.
Tammy Sue Apologized to People Hurt by the Ministry
Jay’s older sister, Tammy Sue Bakker, addressed her father’s death in a statement published by KY3. She said she had quietly left his ministry in 2022 because she disagreed with its message and had remained estranged from him.
According to Tammy Sue, she learned about his illness and hospice care only three hours before his death. A friend who saw the announcement online then told her he had died, unaware that she had not been informed.
She said she had previously stayed silent to avoid hurting her family or the church. Now she wanted to apologize to people harmed by the ministry, including supporters who had donated money despite their own financial hardship.
Her apology also addressed people rejected or mistreated by churches. She acknowledged that PTL had helped many followers while describing the burden she had carried since childhood over the harm others reported.
In place of flowers or gifts, Tammy Sue encouraged people to donate money or volunteer with their local LGBTQIA+ community, invoking her mother’s example of unconditional love.