Olivia Wilde says she takes pride in the parenting relationship she has built with former fiancé Jason Sudeikis. “We have reached this healthy equilibrium,” the actress and director said, reflecting on their family’s life after a difficult separation.
Wilde, 42, discussed raising son Otis, 12, and daughter Daisy, 10, during the November 14 edition of The New York Times’ The Interview, speaking with journalist David Marchese.
She pushed back against the idea that former partners can simply decide to separate amicably and easily settle into their new roles. Reaching a workable arrangement, she said, involves more difficulty than those reassuring descriptions suggest.
Wilde and Sudeikis began dating in 2011, became engaged in 2013 and separated in 2020. They never married. Both have since spoken about what they learned from the relationship and how they approach parenting while living apart.
Ending the Relationship Felt Like Failure
Wilde had grown up with a different example of lasting partnership. Her parents, both journalists, remain together and worked alongside each other for years. She had expected a similar future for herself, which made accepting the end of her relationship particularly painful.
She described the decision to separate as the most difficult and painful of her life. As PEOPLE documented, Wilde struggled with feeling she had failed, especially because the relationship involved the person with whom she was raising children.
Ultimately, she believed separating was the better choice for their family. Wilde said children can sense when adults conceal their feelings and become confused when what they notice conflicts with what they are shown. She expressed relief that Otis and Daisy can grow up with parents whose emotions feel honest, rather than performed.
The Custody Dispute Became Public
The former couple’s disagreements drew widespread attention in April 2022, when Wilde was handed custody documents onstage while presenting Don’t Worry Darling at CinemaCon in Las Vegas.
A source told Good Morning America at the time that Sudeikis had no advance knowledge of where or when the papers would be delivered and would not have approved of that manner of service.
They reached a joint custody agreement in September 2023, according to Entertainment Tonight. The settlement established alternating weeks with the children and resolved the dispute that had continued for more than a year.
Shared Custody Changed Her Work Schedule
During her June 17 appearance on Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast, Wilde explained how dividing parenting responsibilities had changed the way she organizes her life. Time with Otis and Daisy becomes an opportunity to give them her full attention.
She praised Sudeikis as a capable, present father and said she trusts him to be engaged when the children are with him. Those periods allow her to concentrate more fully on acting and directing, as Us Weekly reported.
Wilde said the arrangement means the children receive the best of both parents in a way that had not been possible when they were together.
Sudeikis Says He Needed to Communicate
Sudeikis, 51, reflected on his own mistakes during the October 18 episode of Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso. “I could have communicated better,” he said, explaining that leaving feelings unspoken does not make them disappear. He acknowledged that expecting another person to understand concerns he had not expressed was unfair.
According to Entertainment Weekly, he said public accounts had misunderstood many details of the breakup. He objected to reducing complicated relationships to stories in which one person must be right and the other wrong.
He also praised Wilde’s professional abilities and said he was pleased about her success. Her third directorial feature, The Invite, stars Wilde, Seth Rogen, Penélope Cruz and Edward Norton in a comedy about a struggling married couple hosting their neighbors for dinner. Following its Sundance premiere, A24 released the film in theaters on June 26.
